Stowaway Mishap
by Moonfish
Summary: -Oneshot/Semi-AU- When Sakura stowed away on the infamous Sea Puppet to complete a mission, she had made a grave error in underestimating the insanity the ship captain had to offer. -Deisaku-


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

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Light from the freshly risen sun poured in through the small round hole that served as window in the captain's cabin. The blonde man that was tangled up in the sheets and with his own long coat cracked an eye open at the offending light that was drawing him out of an alcohol induced sleep. Warmth made it a little more tolerable, along with the familiar salty scent of the sea that was carried in by the winds along with the shouts of men on deck tending the sail and getting an early start. As the captain of this ship, he should have been awake hours ago, but hey, even he needed to sleep in every once in a while.

When he found he was able to extract himself from the hard bed and dirty sheets, he raked a comb through the tangled mess of gold strands and straightened the clothes he had collapsed in the night before. Or, rather, only hours ago really.

His boots made a heavy thud against the wooden planks as he exited the cabin to be fully greeted by the soft morning lights. The rest of his crew rushed around, relieved that they finally had something to do after drifting through the ocean between Lightning Country and Earth Country. The past weeks had been dull and painfully boring after the excitement of the raids that had filled the barrels below them with countless gold coins, jewels and priceless scrolls.

Had the fact that this ship was no ordinary vessel been mentioned?

The man who leaned over the wooden rails to keep close watch on his crew was none other than Deidara, infamous pirate captain of _The Sea Puppet_. Their deadly reign over the seas had gone uninterrupted, despite the countless fleets that had been commissioned to take them down.

No fleet ever succeeded and the reason remained mysterious to all except his trusted crew. Of course, the ship's superior crafting that allowed it to cut through the waters like a samurai's blade was a large part of their luck. Many had sought out the carpenter of the ship, but Deidara guarded that secret with his life. The other half to that formula, however, was far darker and mysterious than the ship's unknown origins.

Deidara was, in fact, a skillful explosives master, not to mention a true demon born from the Earth Country, their current destination.

On the palms of his hands were mouths no different from the one on his face that possessed a material to render clay explosive in various levels, not to mention bring his creations to life should he have a different purpose.

No one stood a chance if they did not know these facts and he had made sure no one knew. As for the other pirate ships that he had become aware of...Well, they all chose to ignore and avoid each other. A platonic relationship Deidara had no plans of disrupting just yet.

Little did Deidara know, his precious ship was about to meet its match.

On the highest mast, a figure clad in red, as bold as you please and pink hair crouched and watched the blonde with an emerald-eyed scrutiny.

She could see that the demon had gotten cozy in his lifestyle and did not expect an attack from one such a she, which suited her just fine. If he was that arrogant and unaware, that made her mission all the easier.

For Haruno Sakura was an elite kunoichi, and one that would put an end to Deidara and his crew.

The demon captain took his post at the wheel, she observed, and stared straight ahead at the open ocean. One of his eyes was covered completely by long blonde bangs while an exotic, almond-shaped blue eye peered out piercingly. Yet, she could detect a hint of reverence. How odd...But no matter. She did not come to write a book. She came to end his life, and that was just what she had hoped to do when she laced her fingers around four shuriken. All it would take was one solid hit in the choice vital places that she pinpointed, and the rest would be easy. His crew was powerful, as she had witnessed while she tracked them through Lightening and after stowing away on the ship. A select few she learned had been missing nins, though low in rank. There certainly was some intelligence in taking on the life of a pirate after abandoning their villages, but that would not save them today. The Sea Puppet was in the dead center of the sea between countries and no one had means of escape, just as she had planned. Now was the perfect time to strike!

Without further ado, Sakura released the shuriken in what should have been a devastatingly accurate aim...But her target was suddenly no longer in the same position.

Her eyes grew wide. Where had he gone? She did not even blink!

"Looks like I have a stowaway...un..." came a voice behind her. Sakura's eyes widened from shock, but she did not let her shock keep her from retaliating immediately by sweeping her legs out in order to knock the man off of the sail.

Much to her chagrin, this did nothing but amuse him, which she could see in his one visible eye as he looked down at her with his arms behind his back. He leaned a little so that the long strands were hanging in her face.

"A kunoichi, hmm?" he asked, tilting his head. He sounded curious, but the sinister gleam to his eyes kept Sakura from moving a hair, no matter how much she wanted to. The reason being the tiny clay bird that was currently perched on the tip of her nose.

Being a person that had studied Deidara for well over a month, she knew the demon possessed the strange gift to make things explode from clay and that tiny bird was _far_ from innocent. If he wanted to, he could blow her whole face off right there.

"Why are you on the...ship, un?" he questioned, though his moment of pausing brought a wide smile to his face that she did not like at all.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. "How did you know I was here?" she asked, instead of answering. Even if she died right now (which she surely hoped would not happen) she would not give away that information to him; who the client of her village was, which village she was from for that matter, and why. She would die with honor, but first she would try not to die at all!

His eye widened with the 'amused' look.

"You aren't in any position to be asking the questions, un. I could call on my crew, or just make you a piece of art for the fist to eat."

He grinned, flashing a set of surprisingly straight white teeth. Deidara knew exactly who had the upper hand, and judging by the fire he saw in the girl's eyes, she knew it too. He had, in fact, known for quite some time that something was different on his ship, though he was never able to pinpoint it exactly. Despite that, he went on as if he knew nothing in hopes that what was hidden would pop out eventually. And so it did in the form of this pretty little kunoichi sitting below him on the mast with one of his birds perched on her nose.

As for how he knew where she was on this day, that could easily be explained by the device he wore over the eye he kept hidden with his hair. He simply had been watching the sea for any signs of land in the distance as he steered, but the slight movement of the girl as she crouched down caught his attention. Long before she had even grabbed for her shuriken, he had been watching and studying her.

She was, in fact, easy on the eyes. Most kunoichi he saw seemed to fall into the 'seductive beauty' category. At least those that ever came in his direction, anyway, which spoke volumes on how his enemies viewed him. The pink-haired snippet before him was not at all that embodiment. In the place of voluptuous curves, she had a lean physique, almost feline. And instead of smoldering eyes, she radiated something fierce and passionate down to the short cut of her hair.

He almost had forgotten what he was doing when he saw her go for the weapons to, no doubt, kill him.

Well, he couldn't have that could he?

And so there they stood with the sun fully in the sky now and shining down rather cheerfully for such a dangerous encounter as this one.

Neither moved or spoke further. Each waited on the other to blink, or make a single mistake that would give them the window of opportunity to attack.

Deidara was not as patient as one might have believed. On the ocean, a man would need a lot of patience with the long journey with nothing but himself and his crew for company. This was not so, however. Deidara loved the sea for her ever-changing ways and the frightful, explosive storms that would birth right over his head and threaten to drown them all! It was exciting, and if moments became too dull, he terrified his crew by setting off small bombs near their bodies.

...A hobby that had called for replacement crewmen on more than one occasion.

And now, this staring contest was beginning to wear his short patience thin. If she was not going to do anything other than stare at him and wait for him to move on his ship when she was intruding, he was just going to finish her off no matter how disappointing that may be.

At least he would get to start his day off with a bit of excitement. The Cheshire grin plastered itself on his mouth once more and a vaguely unstable light came to his eyes when he was suddenly more feet away than he had started out. Sakura looked tense and afraid. Deidara had the nerve to pout a little. Where had that fierce kunoichi gone?

"Katsu!" he called out.

To his amazement, right before the bird exploded, the girl turned into a piece of driftwood!

Deidara's eyes widened right as a shadow came over him. Far too late, he turned around and saw that same kunoichi coming right down at him from the sky. Rather than be horrified and upset that his life was close to ending, Deidara smiled wildly before he jumped away. Just as he had thrown himself into the air, her fist hit where he had been and tore the mast completely, sending splinters of wood into the air.

_**This**_ was what he was talking about!

Not skipping a beat, Sakura kicked off of the broken mast to follow after him where he had landed back on the deck. The crew had, by this time, been alerted by the noise. Each were greeted by the sight of their captain dodging frightening blows from the kunoichi, and those that knew better, could feel the overwhelming chakra she was controlling in her body.

"If you sink the ship, you'll be going down with it, un!" Deidara taunted with a bark of laughter, which earned him a growl from the girl.

In this moment, the crew of _The Sea Puppet_ feared for their lives and realized the true folly of trusting something so precious in the hands of a crazy man!

The only option left was to abandon ship, which they did without thinking twice while their captain engaged in mortal combat with the deadly kunoichi. Those that could, escaped into the dinghies, while the unfortunate were stabbed by their fellow shipmates and sent off into the brilliant blue waves below. At that point it was clear this was every man for himself, especially when pieces of wood from the ship came flying at them after Deidara released a bomb near Sakura, only to have her retaliate by slamming her fist into something he was close to.

"Do you think it's over?" one whispered to the other, when all had gone quiet.

"I _don't_ know! Shut up and keep rowing!" the other hissed while the remaining four watched the ship that was growing farther and farther away with each row against the waves.

**Meanwhile...**

Deidara stood at the very top of the mast (or what was left of it) and looked down at the ship. There were holes in as many spaces possible without damaging the ship to the point of sinking. Sakura must have realized that she would not be able to escape alive if the ship went down with her in it. Now she was hidden once again, no doubt plotting out a new strategy to kill him. She was so serious about the whole ordeal, but Deidara could not help but take great pleasure in their war. He could not remember the last time he had this much fun, but now that he had time to catch his breath and survey the damage, he noticed that his crew had tried to escape.

Narrowing his eyes, he turned his head and saw them a few miles away, rowing like their life depended on it -which it did- and abandoning their own captain and ship.

He was not surprised. They joined ship only because they had no other choice or wanted a 'free and easy' life. Also, they were pirates. That, in itself, would explain their behavior. Deidara, also a dirty pirate, would punish them like one for leaving him to bring this ship home -damaged- all by himself. So, while he allowed his new 'playmate' to choose how the next round of fun was going to happen, he crafted a bird that expanded soon after and climbed on.

There were six of them left out of a fifteen member crew. That meant his crew had been very busy in deciding who was going to get on the only dingy left that had not been destroyed in the outbreak of violence. He smirked and circled the bird over them but did nothing immediately. At this height, they were sure to believe him to be some sort of sea bird and that they were as safe as could be.

He would left them think that too, because reactions were so much more entertaining when they were lured into a false sense of security.

Deidara dropped the first bomb five feet from the dinghy after the rogue crew had gone quiet and their rowing slowed so that they were comfortable. The explosion send water blasting into the air and spray upon them. Alarmed voices raised up to his high perch. Eyes gleaming with more than just a hint of madness, Deidara dropped a few more, much close this time...

_-x-_

Sakura hid herself within the hull of the ship to regroup. All of her shuriken were embedded in the ship or flung out into the ocean, she had maybe two or three senbon, and her chakra was considerably less compared to what she started out with. So far, this entire mission was turning out to be a complete disaster. She knew Deidara was insane to some degree, and that he had abilities that people in the shinobi world would have considered a bloodline limit, but he was not a shinobi at all. This could only mean the rumors were true and she had made a grave error in underestimating a true, real life demon. Never before did she think it was possible. He did not display any abnormalities other than the explosions and his personality. Now she could add inhuman speed and stamina to the mix. What else was the nutcase hiding?! Had she really made the mistake a genin would have made?

Too much time had passed and it was too quiet for comfort. With nothing left up her sleeve for now, Sakura would have to improvise, and until then she needed to find out what her target was up to. He did not come off as the type to be quiet, or if he was quiet it was a bad sign. Sakura was betting on the latter.

First, she peered through one of the many holes she created in the deck above her. No one was in sight, nor could she sense any chakra or that strange aura Deidara gave off. Carefully, she climbed out and surveyed the battle torn area of splintered wood, hanging ropes, and fabric from the torn sails. The two of the sure did make a mess.

She frowned. A mess, and she had not even made a scratch on him, from what she could tell though he had not gotten one on her either.

When thunderous explosions rumbled in the distance, Sakura ran to the side of the ship and squinted. Since all there was for miles around was ocean, she had nothing obstructing her view of a most exasperating sight of a dinghy being tossed around by huge waves created by what could not be anything other than bombs. Was he seriously torturing his crew now since she was hiding?

It was against Sakura's better judgment to feel any sort of pity for the helpless crew, but anyone at the mercy of Deidara deserved some level of pity. She gasped loudly when a final bomb had been dropped, one so powerful that the little dinghy was nothing more than thin shreds of wood and those that had been within it were smears of red over churning, disturbed waters.

She backed away slowly, eyes wide with the revelation that explosion brought to her. She was in the middle of the ocean, on a ship, with a mad demon bomber. The only possible means of escape she had was just blown to smithereens by said demon bomber.

The only 'intelligent' thing Sakura could summon up to express her situation was: _Oh Shit._

A large shadow passed over head, telling her just how far too late this revelation was. Had this been any other ship, any other pirate, her original plans might have worked out and she would be rowing her way to safety.

Had this been any other pirate.

But when she lifted her eyes up towards the man who was watching her over the edge of the large clay bird that was circling low overhead, she knew Deidara was not just any pirate and that she was irreversibly screwed.

What was worse was that he knew it. She could see it in his one visible eye and in that sadistic smile that hung on his face so nicely.

She could continue fighting, but eventually her chakra would run out, leaving her completely defenseless, and she had no way of knowing if that would be the same for a demon. She could also tear off a piece of the ship and take her chances floating, but the memory of what she had witnessed only moments ago replayed for her slowly.

Deidara leaped from the bird and landed in front of her. He stared for a good minute, then looked away to take in the damage they had done once again, but with admiration for the carnage. She could have attacked him right then, but he knew she would not be so stupid to kill the only person that could successfully man this ship in its current condition. The tables had turned and Deidara now had her in his clutches

He looked back down at her and saw the glare she leveled him with. Without speaking, she was directly telling him that she was not going to make this easy, that she did not like him _**at all**_, and that she would probably try to kill him at any chance she saw in her favor when they were close enough to land.

"What's your name, un?" he asked.

Sakura's glare intensified, much to his amusement. She did not look like she would answer, and had considered telling him to go fuck himself, but finally she sighed furiously.

"Sakura."

Deidara's smile was wide. She already knew his name so he was not going to bother 'introducing' himself. Laughing in a way that sent chills up Sakura's spine, he leaned closer so that they were almost nose to nose.

"Welcome to my crew, _Sakura_, un."

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**A/N: **This idea hit me like a ton of bricks in the wee hours of the morning and I just had to get it out. This is only intended to be a one shot _for now _but I may continue on once SNJ is finally finished.

Also, this is a semi-AU fic. While some things will remain the same, many others will be different.


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